Tuesday, May 29, 2012
We're all shaped by the things that happen to us in our lives.
In my growing up years, I struggled with trust.
And inevitably, I brought......I bring.......what happens in my personal life to my relationship with Jesus.
It's an ongoing challenge for me to trust - even Him.
But. There's an even greater consequence for me if I don't. I read this in my study notes in my Bible this morning. "Lack of trust in God always prevents us from receiving His best."
I won't know His best for me if I don't trust Him.
Trust Him with my children.
Trust Him with my marriage.
Trust Him with my health.
Trust Him with my dreams.
Trust Him with my hopes.
Trust Him with my destiny.
Trust Him with the very life He's provided for me.
Here's the thing. For much of my life, I felt I knew better. My plans and my decisions had to be better than His. How could what Jesus wanted for me be better than what I wanted for me?
I have no idea how I lived in that mindset, but I did. For many years.
All the while, He waited for me. He didn't impose Himself on me. He didn't take away my freedom to make my own choices.
So, I did things the way I wanted to with very little thought of Him.
I had to learn the hard way.
I'm not sure at what point that changed. Yeah, I probably do. I had to fail at my own attempts. I had to come to the end of myself. I had to see for myself that my way was not the best way.
As He walked with me through mistakes and failures, I grew to trust Him.
And I saw Him faithful to me,
- in times of failure
- in times of heartbreak
- in times of sickness
- in times of loss
- in times of emptiness
I saw Him faithful.
And my Trust in Him grew.
And my life began to change.
I wish I had known then, what I've come to see now. Since I've learned to trust Him, He's made my life so much richer and more meaningful. I've come to understand what abundance really means.
He's opened the flood gates for me in every important way. Bringing people into my life. Blessing me with friendships and relationships. Giving me opportunities and experiences that have greatly impacted my life. Providing for me in every way you can imagine - relationally, spiritually, financially. Being faithful to provide for my needs. Answering prayers. Showing Himself to me when I read His word.
All of that has come, as I have trusted Him more.
I try not to think about all the opportunities that were lost while I was living out my life, my way. I wish at a much earlier age...... He was the greatest desire of my life. I don't focus on what I can't change. I have to lay all of my past down before Him too. He's used....and will use..... that part of my life time and time again anyway.
Instead, I want to trust Him today. And from this day forward.