Wednesday, April 29, 2015

My Next Renovation Project


It's not another old house.

It's not even a makeover.


Not exactly.

The truth is.

My next renovation project is......



It's me.

It became obvious.

Over the last few months.

That what I need more than anything.

Is some intentional.


And while I've learned a thing or two about other kinds of renovation.

The kind that involves.


And plaster.

And power tools.

And Lowe's.

I'm giving serious thought to restoration of a different kind.

Circumstances don't matter much.

We're all susceptible.

For me.

It comes from a lack of balance in my life.

When I go for a period of time without it.

It starts to tell on me.

So I considered.

What I need for my renovation?

What would really help?

One of Lisa's hour long massages!  

That was easy.

And top of my list.

More consistent exercise.


I've got the perfect place to walk.

But, there's definitely been a lack.

Of exercise.

And a need for.

Better nutrition.

Less eating out.

Less snacking.

More sleep.

And rest.

More of the things I enjoy.

Working on my glass.


Browsing through thrift shops.

Without a purpose.

Or a list.

Just for pleasure.

What a concept!

These are simple things.

Nurturing things.

To restore.

And bring balance.

But more important for me.

I know.

Is sitting in quiet.   And being still.

Allowing restore me.

".......he will restore, support and strengthen you;

         and he will place you on a firm foundation."       1 Peter 5:10.

I won't lie.

The massage would be wonderful.

And more balance has to happen.

But when it comes right down to it.

His renovation work can't be matched.

And I'm available.

So let the work begin.

He's got my "before" pictures.

Praying for better "after" ones.

Sunday, April 12, 2015


It's an angle used against me many times.

Maybe you've seen it too.

In your own life.

Used against me by the enemy, of course.


The enemy knows where we're all vulnerable.

He knows where I'm vulnerable.

And he's quick to whisper betrayal over me.

I've experienced betrayal in my own life.

No one is immune.

If we live long enough.

It's probable it will come our way.

In one form or another.

Someone lets us down.

Or lies.

And deep harm is done.

And anything that happens to us in life.

Can be effectively used against the enemy.

It can easily happen during a tragedy.

If there's a huge loss.

And there are no answers.

No understanding.

It can happen in crisis.

When the floor seems to drop out from under your feet.

And things are spinning out of control.

And you're afraid.

It can happen during illness.

When you get life changing news about your health.

And  the expectation you had for your future.

 Changes in an instant.

Or with disappointment.

When something important didn't turn out..... just right.

When you lost your job.

Or lost your life savings.

The enemy will whisper.

See.....He doesn't care about you.

If He did....

THAT would never have happened!

How unfair.

And undeserved!

He doesn't really love you.

How could He?

Is this how He treats the people that follow Him?

Lies, of course.

But like any lie.

It has to have a small hint of truth to snag me.

To be effective against me.

To hit a cord.

And it does.


Once felt.

The enemy can pull it out...... and use it against me.

Time after time.

I thought about betrayal a few weeks ago.

I was reading through the book of Luke just before Easter.

About Jesus's last days with His closest followers - the disciples.

And Jesus experienced betrayal.

He was betrayed by Judas.

I wonder how He felt when He saw Judas approach with the soldiers?

That scripture.

Brings a painful observation.

Judas was close to Jesus.

And we know as well.

The closer the betrayer.

The greater the potential for hurt.

There have been times.

I've listened to the lies.

That Jesus has betrayed me.

Considering myself.

That the lies said over me might be true.

That's what the enemy is counting on.

That I will feel abandoned.   

That I will feel betrayed.   

That I will lose heart.


Now we're getting down to it.




I will lose heart.

And that's what he's hoping.

Life can be hard.

And we can all get kicked in the teeth.

This world is jacked up.

It is.

And it will be as long as we walk the earth.

But.....God is good.

He has proven that to me.....time after time.

And it's not just mumbo jumbo.

I know it to be true.

And it's not about religion.

But in my relationship with Him.

He is good.

And trustworthy.

And His love for me is real.

In Him there is no darkness.

And no betrayal.

So when the attack comes.

And it will.

When tragedy comes.

When crisis, life changing news about our health or disappointment comes.

I can choose to listen to the lie.

Of betrayal.

Or I can choose to believe.

The choice is mine.

The choice is ours.

I pray I will always reject the lie.

I pray I will always choose truth.

I pray I will always choose Him.

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon a cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

"How Deep the Father's Love For Us"  lyrics by Stuart Townend

Monday, April 6, 2015

I'm a Late Bloomer

I am such a late bloomer.

It's taken me.

A long time.

To become me.

To know what I believe.

To be comfortable with who I am.

To find my courage.

To place my faith.

And to figure out.

What I love to do.


Don't get me wrong.

I'm still walking forward.

Hoping to have many years ahead.


Sometimes I think about my age.

And I can hardly believe.

How did I get here so quickly?


Still have places I want to see.

Still have things I want to do.

Still have things I want to say.

But I'm finally beginning.

At 55 and 9 months old.

To hit my stride.

And walk with greater confidence.

Finally feeling comfortable in my own skin.

Pretty sure that qualifies.

As a late bloomer.

It didn't happen in my 20's.

I was too busy in my 30's.

It probably started in my 40's.

But definitely.

It unfolded in my 50's.

I began to see.

More clearly.

The view of myself.

In this world.

I'm itty bitty.

A bleep on the timeline of the universe.

Here for a very short time.

Really wanting to be worthwhile.

But definitely beginning to understand.





Just beginning to bloom.