Sunday, May 13, 2012

I Fired Myself


I'm at a place in my life when responsibility is a dominant theme in my life.

I know I'm no different than many women with families & homes & jobs (whether you work in the home or outside the home.)

We're all balancing and handling responsibility.

It can be overwhelming.  

I'm responsible for my family.  My girls are grown, but I still feel responsible for their safety, for their security, their general well being and their comfort.  I'm responsible for my home.  For processing the laundry, for pushing up the thermostat before I leave to go to work each day, for watering my plants and cleaning out the litter box.  I'm largely responsible for our finances....for paying the bills & for balancing our checkbook. For being concerned when the savings account gets too low, when tuition is due or books need to bought for school and when the FAFSA report needs to be completed....... (which reminds me....)

I'm  responsible for making sure hair appointments get made and dental check-ups are scheduled.   I'm responsible for the agency where I work. Responsible for my employees, for our budget, for making sure things operate well, that we reach more people and raise more money, that my staff feel appreciated.  

I'll be honest.

Sometimes responsibility weighs heavy on me.

Sometimes I long just to be free from it.   I feel sure my life would be easier or better with less responsibility.  

My favorite bible teacher, Beth Moore, said something very profound recently about this very thing.  We sometimes take on more responsibility than God ever intended for us to carry.  

That was a revolutionary thought for me.

God didn't actually need my help solving the difficult problems of a friend.  He never intended for me to be responsible for that loved one's health or happiness.   My girl's ultimate safety and security was never mine to provide.    Yes, I did have to deal with the FAFSA report and pay tuition on time, but my family's finances belong to Him.  He's responsible for my staff, my home and my family.

So, I did the only thing I could do when confronted with these truths.  

I fired myself from some responsibilities.    

I did.    I fired myself from some very heavy responsibilities that I never should have shouldered in the first place...... and a strange thing  happened.  I began to feel relief.  

Yeah,  He still expects me to pay the bills and change the litter box.   Many of the other responsibilities, however, that I tried to carry......I sensed Him tell me -- "I've got me with them.  They belong to me.   Not to you."

Ahhhh......what a revelation.   The God of the Universe doesn't need my help.    Who would have thought it??

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