Friday, March 30, 2012

A Collision of Sorts

I think maybe I should put a "warning" out on my blog. Warning: this woman does not have it all together. In fact, I'm highly suspicious of any woman who pretends to have it all together. We don't. As women, we're all influenced by our upbringing and our past. Here's a little of what influenced mine.

I love my relationships with other women -- and I find I'm often drawn to strong women. I hope to tell you about some of them in future posts. I've learned a lot from them. I admire women that have overcome great obstacles in their lives. I look up to women that pull themselves up by their boot straps, fight against injustice and overcome their fears and insecurities. If I was totally honest, I would admit to being greatly impacted by feminism in my teens and 20's. As I started college, women were encouraged to be independent, self-sufficient and strong! That was deeply ingrained into my belief system.

Some of you may be judging me now. Ohhh....feminism -- that's a bad word! I'm just stating facts. We all have strong influences in our lives....things that shape and mold us. That was one of mine.

Of course, the inevitable "collision" came some years later as I focused more on my faith and my relationship with Jesus -- and He called me to be "dependent" on rely on His sufficiency. He showed me that He can do so much more through me when I am weak -- not strong.

His teachings always has a way of turning the world view on it's ear, have you noticed that?

Jesus is so patient with me. This is an area he's working on in my life....turning my independence into a greater dependence on Him.

Am I there yet? No. I laughed at myself not too long ago. Nearly every page of my bible is marked with highlighters....sometimes I write notes in the margins too. Just evidence that I have been there -- read the chapters...thought about it...hopefully, putting the words into action into my own life. I realized the other day as I was flipping through the book of Ephesians, that I had absolutely no highlighting in the latter part of Chapter 5 -- the passages on women being "submissive." Highlighting on almost every page until I got there. Chapter 5 -- none!

You may not struggle in this particular area. Good for you. I'm still a work in progress. What can I say?


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