Vibrantly Alive & In My Livingroom

This morning.

About 5:15 a.m.

I walked through my dark house.

Headed with a cup of coffee.

Toward my chair in the living room.

My time with Jesus.

Early.

Before anybody else is up.

I reached for the lamp.

And turned it on.

And settled back to get comfortable.

Tucking my feet up under me.

I turned to my devotion.

July 25th.

"Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young.

And I read the first sentence.

"As you listen to birds calling to one another, hear also My love
 call to you..."


And without any notice.

It SHOT UP beside me.

Out of no where.

I about JUMPED out of my chair.

A fluttering, humming movement.

Directly at eye level.

Inches away.


A HUMMINGBIRD!

In my house.

At 5:15 a.m.

Hovering right beside me.

Whattttttt??????


I was hardly awake enough to process what I saw.

It hung there near the lamp.

In mid air.

Humming.

Yeah.....that sound that hummingbirds make.

And quickly.

It descended to land.

No joke.

On the arm of the chair I was sitting in.

Incredible.


Where in the world did you come from?

It had to be my porch door.

I prop it open in the morning.

So my cats can come and go as they please.

And my cats??

No where to be found.

Amazing! but they missed it.


Geez.

Okay.

What do I do with you?

I eased carefully out of the chair.

He stayed put.....amazingly.

And I went to the kitchen.

How in the world will I catch you?

Right!!

Not very likely.

But I returned anyway.

Garbage bag in hand.

I didn't want to hurt him.

I just wanted to help him outside.


And as I walked back into the room.

He had vanished.

No evidence of him.

No reappearance.

Gone.




You'd have to know me.

But......I always try to figure out the meaning of things.

And this little guy's appearance at 5:15 a.m.

Not sure.

But.....wow.

A hummingbird appearing during my quiet time with Jesus.

In my house.

That's a first.

And I'm taking it as evidence of what I went on to read:

"As you listen to birds calling to one another,
hear also
My love call to you.

I speak to you continually:
through 
sights, 
sounds, 
thoughts
impressions, 
scripture.

There is no limit
to the variety of ways
I can communicate with you.

Your part is to be attentive to My messages.
In whatever form they come.

When you set out to find Me in a day,
you discover 
that the world is 

vibrantly alive

with 
My presence."

Sarah Young,  "Jesus Calling"


How cool is that?

Busted & A Bit Humbled

I've been.......so busted.

Better watch yourself.

You may find yourself on the receiving end too.

Eating your words.

That's what I've had to do.

My mantra for years?

Embrace change!

Be uncomfortable.

Allow yourself to be uneasy.

Step out.

Don't hide from new opportunities.

Then?

The moving truck pulled up to my back door.

Every piece of furniture was loaded.

And hauled to a new location.

Where it was set in place.

Looking a million times different than it did where it came from.

We moved.

Of course we moved!

Excuse me.

But that's what we've been working toward for almost a year.

Finish renovating the house in Due West.

And move into it.

That's been the plan.

And then?

It became reality.

The movers finished.

And left.

The door was closed.

And night fell that first day.

And I was exhausted.

And I got just a few hours of sleep.

And the next day.

I must have cried.

A dozen times.

Totally ridiculous.

I know.

Hard to imagine, right?

Me.

"Miss" -- jump off the deep end of the pool.

Do what makes you feel uncomfortable!

Travel to the bush of Africa - many times.

And I bawled like a baby on and off in a new house.

Questioning.

What have I done?

Why are we here?

Lord have mercy!

Thankfully.

Scott was my only witness.

And he mostly looked perplexed.

 And at a loss.

A new home.

A new town.

Nothing familiar.

Everything "uncomfortable."

Geeeehhh.

Get a grip -- I told myself.

And thankfully.

That first day passed.

And the second day went better.

Thank you, Jesus!

My house was set up.

Day by day it started to look more like I imagined.

My things were arranged.

Pictures were hung.

And it started it to feel more like home.

Today?

We've been here 10 days.

And I know which light switch turns on which light.

I know the drawer in the kitchen that holds the silverware.

And the one that holds my stash of dark chocolate.

I've learned the sounds of this old house.

And I'm sleeping much better.

All my animals have adjusted really well.

It's starting to feel more comfortable.

Starting to feel like home.

And.

My hard line mantra of telling others to embrace change.

And what you fear.

Has been a little softened.

Busted.

And a bit humbled.

Not Just A House

I'm down to my last few nights in this house.

So focused on the renovation work in Due West.

I've not thought a whole lot.

About what this will feel like.

Leaving this house.


This was the first house Scott & I ever owned.

Nine months pregnant when we moved in.

Almost to the day.

Twenty-one years ago.


It's not just real estate.

It's been home.

Comfort.   Love.   Rest.    Refuge.

Our place.


As I started pulling pictures off the walls this weekend.

And packing up in boxes.

The house started getting that.....right after Christmas look.

You know.

That bare.

Empty feeling a house gets right after the holidays.

Now.

We're packing everything up.   And moving on.

But, it won't be easy to leave this house.



Taylor came home here.

From the hospital after she was born.

We had her tea party birthday in this dining room when she was nine.

She stood on these front steps just a few years later.

In her prom dress for pictures.

And pulled out the driveway for the first time.

Driving solo in her car.

Kate.

She played tug-of-war with Sadie in the backyard.

And roller bladed with the kid next door.

She celebrated her 16th birthday.

With friends grilling burgers in the backyard.

The same backyard where we hosted her wedding reception.

A few short years later.....it seemed.

Tanner.

Jasper.

Maddie & Booper.

Sweet pets that lived out their lives in our family.

Here.

All buried in flower beds and under the crab apple tree.

At this house.



Scott & I have had countless conversations at the end of day.

Out there on the porch.

We've had many morning cups of coffee in this kitchen.

We always loved coming here at the end of tough days.

Or after a week of camping at the beach.

Or after a long journey to Africa and back.

There was always something about pulling into this driveway.

And looking at this house.

And walking through this door.

This place of comfort and love.

Not just a house.

It's been home.

Just a few days left here.

And.

A new chapter.

A new beginning awaiting us.

But not before.

I sit and be quiet.

In this house.

This home.

A few days more.

A Close Call on Father's Day

I still can't get over it.

We worked all day yesterday at the house we're renovating in Due West.  

We didn't quite get finished with one of our projects.

And now.

It's clear.

If we had finished....... our project yesterday,

We likely wouldn't have a house today.

Before 9:30 this morning,

We arrived in Due West.

I opened the back door of our house and walked inside.

Checking  on the brick I had installed on the kitchen wall the day before.

And the smell was overwhelming.

Not a natural gas smell.

That was my first thought.

But strong enough to irritate my eyes and throat immediately.

Scott & I had no idea where it could be coming from.

So, over the course of the next ten minutes.

We met a policeman and three volunteer fire fighters from Due West.

They carefully went through the house.

Reacting much as we did to the odor.

And this was the culprit.

I used what I thought was just a polishing oil Saturday.

Linseed Oil.

On two mantels and our heart pine front door.

And very carelessly when I was done.

I placed the Linseed Oil in a bedroom closet.

And tossed this rag in beside it.

Linseed Oil, I learned.

Was used by the old cotton mills to oil wood floors.

Highly combustible.

By the time the rag was discovered this morning.

The oil had burned a hole right through it.

It was charred black.

And hot to the touch.

One of the fireman told me that Linseed Oil can ignite in as little as two hours.

Reaching temperatures of 200 degrees when left on rags.

The fact that it hadn't already done so.

After 14 hours.

A miracle.

It was in a box.   In a closet.

With aerosol cans of paint stripper.

Under the stairway of our hundred year old house.

Days before our renovation is completely done.

I felt sick at my stomach at my carelessness.

Unbelievable.

And so grateful.

The outcome could have been much different.

It's nothing short.

Nothing short.

Of God's grace and intervention.

We had planned to take the day off today.

From working at the house.

Even when we decided we'd better finish yesterday's project.

We planned to go up late in the day.

But we went this morning.

First thing.

And I'm just thanking Jesus that we did.

Blessed by the volunteer fire fighters in Due West.

They were terrific!

Blessed by God's hand of protection.

And incredible blessing.

He's provided it countless time in our relationship with this old house.

Time and time again.

What I'm Lacking

Have you ever been tested or tried?

Or found yourself in a tough season of circumstances?

I'm there right now.

And no.

I don't need a lecture.

About counting my blessings.

I have plenty of reasons to feel blessed.

Plenty.

But.

At the same time.

Just as I've been in periods of time.

When circumstances are light.

And easier.

And uncomplicated.

The opposite can also true.

Circumstances can pile on.

Difficulties.

Challenges.

Demands.

Yes.

The kind that can kick you in the teeth.

Or be more subtle.

Exhaustingly.... hard seasons.

My mom worries when I write posts about hardship.

"Are you okay?" she'll ask me tomorrow.

"I worry about you."

Yeah.

I'm okay.

And I am.

Life can just be hard sometimes.

My faith tells me to thank God during trials and hardships.

I have a hard time doing that.

Just being honest.

So.......as I'm working on thankfulness during trials.

I do know that hard seasons show me things about myself.

Right now?

I'm learning about......today.

Of living in today.

And I'm doing that.

Because too far beyond that can be a bit overwhelming.

Today.

Is where I find relationship.

With Him.

Not in the past.

Not somewhere in the future.

But today.

That's what He's showing me.

He provides the strength that I need.

Today.

He supplies the courage that I need.

Today.

He equips me for.

Today.

So, I try to hold nothing back.

I get up and spend time with Him.

And tell Him how I feel.

If it's discouraged.

I tell Him.

If it's fear.

I tell Him.

If it's wishing for an easier time of it.

I tell Him that too.

Today.

Tough seasons of time are part of living.

And me?

Maybe it's a time for me to see what I'm made of.

Or more truthfully.

It's a time for me to see what I'm lacking.

I'm lacking.

He's providing.

And I'm finding Him.

In today.

Mother's Day Turtle Rescue

I was headed up Hwy 25 yesterday.

Just before 8:00 a.m.

For an early morning visit with my mom.

On Mother's Day.

It was a foggy morning.

And visibility was pretty bad in spots.

I was looking forward to the drive alone.

To think.   And be quiet.

I was lost in my thoughts.

Thinking about the week ahead.

What I had planned for later in the day.

What needed to be measured in Due West at the house.

And clearly not following my own advice.

Of being "where my feet are."

And off in the immediate distance.

I saw a shadowy figure in my lane.

And it wasn't until I was right up on it.

I could even tell what it was.

A large turtle.

Head out.

Making a very poor choice.

Of which way to go on Mother's Day.

I whizzed right by.

Missing him, of course.

And drove on for a mile.  

Or two.

And it hit me.

That voice inside.

"Rescue the turtle."

Dadgumit.

I was already late.

But, the voice inside me continued.

That little guy is sure to get hit.

He's heading across 4 lanes of traffic.

It will be a miracle if he gets across.

Another mile goes by.

Shoot.

I've got to do it.

So what if I'm a few minutes late.

So.

I whipped my little fiesta around.

And headed back.

Where did I see him?

How far did I go?

And just as I logged another mile or two miles back.

There he was.

In the exact spot.

Cars continuing to whiz by.

But no one had hit him.

I pulled off on the side of the road.

And immediately thought of stories I've heard.

Of good Samaritans doing the same kind of thing.

Only to get nailed by an oncoming car.

Oh, geez.

Cut the drama.

I hopped out of my car.

He was bigger than I thought.

Great!

I first thought of putting him in my car.

And taking him to a better locale.

Forget that.

He was way too big to sit in my passenger seat.

And then, of course.

I remembered something my Grandma Pauline used to tell me.

He'll probably be a snapping turtle.

"They'll bite you," she would say.

"And not let go.

Until lightening strikes."

Oh, grandma.

Your legacy lives on.

On Mother's Day.

So despite my fear of snapping turtles.

I grabbed him on both sides.

And walked with him back to the road side.

Taking him about 20 feet away.

I put him gently in the grass.

And pointed him in the opposite direction.

And while I don't know what I expected.

I got little reaction from him.

I know.

Ridiculous.

What was he suppose to say?

"thank you kind woman??"

But, I felt inclined to tell him.

It was Mother's Day, of course.

"If you go back there again, you're gonna deserve what you get."

What???

What did I say??

It came spilling out of my mouth quite naturally.

Where did that even come from??

The deep recesses of a mother's soul.

And yes.

I immediately saw the spiritual angle to the turtles misguided adventure.

As I got back in my car.

Live in today.

Pay attention to what's put in my path.

Turtle or otherwise.

But, also.

I realized.

God's willing to pick me up too.

When I've wondered off the wrong way.

He provides safety.

And better direction.

Just like I was trying to provide for this turtle.

But, unlike me.

Thankfully.

He doesn't say.

"if you go back there again....you're gonna deserve what you get."

Geez.

A little grace, please!

I didn't offer it so much to the turtle.

But thankfully.

God shows it to me.

This time.

With a Mother's Day turtle rescue.

10 Defining Influences In My Life

If I had to name 10 things.

10 defining influences in my life.

What would they be?


10.    Fear

Fear would be in my top ten.

And I hate to admit it.
For many years, fear hindered me.
It was a defining obstacle.
At least for a time.

It made me afraid.
Of what people thought.
Of what the future held.
Of failing.
It  kept me bound.
And limited my......life.

Mostly......it held me back.
I'm not happy it's on my list.
But it played a role.

For a time.



9.      Being Underestimated

I've been underestimated in my life.
And it always strikes a sensitive cord.
But.......it also makes me rise to the occasion.
(Usually) with an attitude.
And that's not always a bad thing.
When I'm underestimated.
I rebel.
Against the source of  the underestimating.
It inspires me.
In an irritating kind of way.
And I set out.
To prove myself.
Being underestimated is a great motivator.

Yeah.
Don't ever underestimate me.
I don't shrink away.

8.    Living with Cancer

My eight year cancer anniversary is coming up in a few days.
I was diagnosed with a rare uterine cancer when I was just 47.
Endometrial Stromal Sarcoma.
Surgery took care of the initial tumor,
But there's pretty good odds of it coming back.
No surprise.
It's had a defining influence on my life.

I often think of my life.
As......me.....before cancer.
And me.......after cancer.
It caused me to take a really hard look at myself.
And what I want to accomplish with my life.
It changed me.
It's still changing me.
I live life differently today.
Because of it.
I think I'm a better human being because of it.
I know I am.

7.   Taking Risks.

Being willing to take risks.
Has greatly defined who I am.
"With great risk.
Comes great reward."
I've heard that many times.
It's true.
And the very things in my life.
I can honestly say have made my life richer.
And more valuable.
All came.
ALL came.
From taking a risk.

I would have missed.
Many wonderful experiences,
Many opportunities,
If I hadn't been willing.

To stick my neck out.
To be afraid.
And uncomfortable.
To risk failing.
Or looking stupid.

Being willing to take risks.
Greatly defined my life.

I heard Beth Moore say once.
If you aren't willing to take a risk.
You will never.
(That's a strong word.)
Never.
Live out the purpose God has for your life.

I've settled that one.
And I keep taking them.

6.   Not being pampered

I wasn't pampered growing up.
And it definitely defined who I am.
Three brothers.
All of us close in age.
I got no special treatment.

Suck it up.
Stop your whining.
Do it yourself.
Learn the hard way.
A girly pampered life was foreign to me.
That was how I came up.
And it made me who I am.

I knew everything there was to know about football.
I rode motorcycles.
And go-carts.
I beat my brothers at Indian leg wrestling.
(still can....p.s.)
And learned to hold my own.

All of it turned out to be a good training ground.
For what would come down the road.
It made me strong.
And defined.
What I expect of myself.
And what I expect of others.

5.   Creativity

I love everything creative.
Designing.
Painting.
Making glass mosaics.
Putting things together.
Bringing things to life.
((Restoring.))
It's a defining influence in my life.
It fulfills me.
And makes me........ satisfied.
It taps into my happy place.
I can't image my life without it.
Definitely a defining influence.

4.    Serving in Africa

Most people don't get it.
Not everyone has the experience there that I did.
But I was broken there.
And I never got over it.
God used my time in Africa.
To widen my view of the world.
And give me a better picture of my place in it.
It was a place He used.
To remove a lot of barriers and walls in me.
And show me what's really important.

It happened there.
And it continues to happen there.
Every time I go.

3.   Tough Times

Tough times always have a defining influence on my life.
Through them.
Ready or not.
I see what I'm made of.
What I'm really.....made of.

And sometimes what I'm made of ain't so great and wonderful.
And other times.
I surprise myself.

But all the times.
What results.
From tough times.
Has a defining influence on me.
Much easier to see.....of course.
At the end of it.
Not so much in the mist of it.

2.     My Work

For someone that never knew what they wanted to do.
I fell into a career path.

And there I have remained.
For many, many years.
28 to be exact.

Totally unexpected.
But clearly what God had planned for me.
I've grown up there.
And met and worked with terrific people.
The best people in fact.
I've ever known.

A work that is meaningful.
That's allowed me to grow.
And make mistakes.
And have successes.

A work that's given me countless experiences.
Some difficult.
Many, many more rewarding.

All a defining influence on my life.

1.    Jesus

It's simple.
With Him is life.
And freedom.
And meaning.

I get it wrong all the time.
I still have so much to learn.
But no other influence.
Compares to His.

It's hard many times.
To depend on Him.
And trust Him.
Especially when the answers are not always clear.
And His timing seems too slow.

But...
I'm learning as I go.
His influence.
I hope anyway.
Is the one that defines me the most.