Friday, March 15, 2013

A Reformed Fixer

I'm a reformed fixer.

Which is somebody that used to feel compelled to fix things.

Not just people, but mostly.

It was in my nature when a problem came across my path to fix it.

Or certainly try to.

My repair of choice was people.

One of my kids had a problem, I wanted to fix it.

My staff had trouble, I wanted to fix it.

A friend had issues, I wanted to fix them.

God started working on me in this area.

If you've ever been a fixer, you know the drill.

There's a certain amount of pride in stepping up to fix other people's

I know it was true for me.

I could see what needed to be fixed so easily.

I'd jump in and fix away.   Invited sometimes.

Sometimes not.

Over time, I started noticing.

The weight of the troubles I was trying to fix.

I wore them.    I carried them.    I held onto them.

It was unhealthy.

It was exhausting.

I was wearing myself out working things out for people.....
or at least in my mind, trying to.

I just remember one day, I sensed God saying over me.

That friend of yours is not your responsibility.

Her troubles are not yours to repair.

Not mine?


God did not intend for me to fix the people in my life.

I know.   That sounds totally messed up to even say out loud,
much less write.

But it's true.

He finally got through to me.

It took some practice stepping away from my fix it mentality.

I had to bite my tongue many times when someone tried to lay a problem at
my feet -- accustomed to me stepping in to fix it.

I had to close my mouth when the temptation came to correct somebody I
thought was doing it all wrong.

But a wonderful thing happened.

I became free.

Free of the perceived responsibility I tried to shoulder.

Free to enjoy family and friends without righting all the wrongs.

Free to trust God to work out the troubles and problems I once felt
compelled to fix.


Let me say that again.    Free.

Now, I didn't wash my hands of people I cared about -- mind you.

I still try to encourage.    But, instead of jumping in to fix -- I point
them to the one who can.

I'm visual.   The very best visual I've seen that describes this was demonstrated
by a friend, Jake Beaty in training care team volunteers at church last weekend.

Jake held his hands up clinching his fists to describe our tendency to "hold onto"
our problems or the problems of others.

This approach of clinching or holding onto the problems I thought I could take and fix
was exactly what I was doing.      Clinching tightly.

Jake then opened his hands and held them - palms facing up to demonstrate
the better way of presenting those problems before God.

Palms open.   Offering them to Him.


Open my hands and allow Him.

To fix.

To cover.

To take.

Concerns.  Troubles.  Failures.  Problems.  Issues.

Palms open.  

It's a lesson I'm finally learning.

Oh, I still find myself wanting to close my fists around something from time
to time.

Then I remember the visual.    Clinched fists.

And I literally open my hands.

Palms up.

And offer them to Him.

Reformed fixer.    That would be me.

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about what happens 
to you."                  1 Peter 5:7.

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