Open Doors

Last Sunday at my church,

I heard John Ortberg speak about the open doors in our lives.

I have to tell you.

I was struck by it.

Because after hearing the message the first time.

I went upstairs to my studio later the same night.

And listened to it again.

This time.

With my journal open.

Taking notes.

You know if I'm taking notes.

The message must be all up in my business.

It was.

I'm opening my journal this morning.

And sharing a few of John Ortberg's comments with you.

What I learned about open doors.

"Open doors are never just about me.
    You're blessed to be....a blesser.
       Your mission is to bless..........to add life to someone."


I'm pretty consistent.

Consistent in usually making everything.....about me.

So, the idea that God blesses me. (And I have no problem with that statement.)

Is really so that I can.....in turn....bless someone else?

"open doors are never just about me."

I don't think I've ever considered it.

He may bless me with my job.

So that I can, in turn, be a blessing to someone else who works with me.

He may bless me in my walk through cancer.

So that I can, in turn, be a blessing to someone else that faces the same diagnosis.

He may bless me with incredible experiences in Africa.

So that I can, in turn, bless others by encouraging them to go and serve there.

My blessings are not just for me.

It's sad, but it was quite a revelation.

"God is more concerned with the person I become
    than the circumstances I inherit."

My circumstances.

What have they been?

Problem - free.

Full of difficulty and conflict.

Times when money and family budgets were tight.

Times of financial abundance.

Circumstances of loss, disappointment and grief.

Times of fun and laughter.

Circumstances when I've been completely overwhelmed.

And stressed.

Times of relative peace.

No matter the circumstances I find myself in.

God is more concerned that I look more like Jesus.

Than giving me an easy time of it.

So, whatever is going on around me.

His greater interest.

Is the person I become.

"Who you become when you go through the door,
   is often more important than getting to the other side."

"People won't go through a door God has provided
    because they don't have peace.

Peace lies on the other side of obedience, not this side."

I think I've heard this in church my entire life.

"If it's God's will, then I should feel peace about it."

Maybe not.

When God told Jonah to go to Nineveh.

He didn't have peace at all.

He didn't want to go.

When God told Moses to lead the Israelite's out of Egypt.

He didn't have peace at all.

He felt completely inadequate for the job.

I've used this as an excuse in my own life.

Because something made me totally uncomfortable.

And anxious.

It must not be God's plan for me.

Maybe that's just an excuse I've used.

Because,

After being uneasy and uncomfortable,

I have occasionally taken a step anyway.

and....after the step.

After responding in something I believe He's called me to do.

Peace does come.

But.......I didn't consider.

Peace might not come before.

"You are not the first person to receive a hard assignment from God."

Who ever feels total peace about a hard assignment?

About an assignment that isn't necessarily safe or secure or manageable?

None of us do.

I don't.

I have to remember.

He's with me while I'm walking through that hard assignment.

Through that difficult loss.

Through that season of discouragement and conflict.

He doesn't promise an easy time.

He promises to be with me.

"Reject the myth.
   if I make the wrong decision.
     if I chose the wrong door.
        I'll be on God's Plan B for the rest of my life."

I believed this.

I've made wrong decisions.

I know I've chosen the wrong door in my life.

Countless times.

And in the back of my mind.

I believed it.

That God's plan for me was so narrow and specific.

That if I didn't make all the right steps.

I'd miss my entire purpose in life.

And would have to settle.

For Plan B.

Honestly.

Who can measure up to that kind of pressure?

Not me.

But, the idea.

That God loves me.

That He walks with me.

Even when I make the wrong choice.

Even when I go through the wrong door.

And that He can make good come from my missteps.

And my bad decisions.

And my wrong choices.

And redeem them all.

That was a big one for me.

And finally.

"As we get older, we regret what we didn't do....
   the words of love never spoken,
   the chance to serve that we never accepted,
   the costly gift that we never gave,
   the scary risk that we never took."

"If you're not dead, you're not done.

    God always has an open door for you."

    
"What will you do for me?"


What will I do for Him?

All quotes from John Ortberg.   To watch this message, go to newspring.cc 
and click the link to sermons - March 17th 2015.

Holding Back In the Short Term

There's several things I've done in my life.

Over the long term.

My marriage.

32 years.

My career.

28 years, I believe.

Relationships.

I still have many from my childhood & high school.

The area where I live.

In Greenwood since 1985.

Long Term.

When I've invested myself.

With people, places and opportunities.

It's been for the long haul.

And.

In my view, it mattered more.

In my understanding, it was more worthwhile.

But not the case.

When I've found myself in the short term.

With people.

Places.

Or opportunities.

That I knew wouldn't necessarily last.

They were temporary.

Brief commitments.

Short term.

And, many times.

I made an intentional decision.

To hold back.

And not invest myself.

I'm only going to be here for a few weeks or months.

There's really no need to get too close.

It's really not going to matter one way or the other.

I intentionally put up walls and boundaries.

Because it was only for the short term.


Have you ever done that?


I have.

I remember one time in particular.

Scott had been taking short term church assignments.

Doing bi-vocational preaching & teaching.

Many times for churches that were looking for a full time pastor.

Or just needed someone to fill in for a specific period of time.

We left our home church.

And for a period of about four or five years.

We moved from one small church to the next.

I'm really a homebody.

It wasn't easy moving from church family to church family.

And after the first assignment.

I could feel myself pulling back.

And not wanting to invest in what I though would be the next short term.

I held back from making relationships.

I held back from giving of myself.

I just plain held back.


Was any permanent damage done to those around me?

Please!

Likely, not!

But,  did I miss out in anyway?

That's the much better question.

I'm certain that I did.

In friendships I didn't make.

In lives that might have blessed mine.

In opportunities that God might have wanted to give me.

But couldn't.

Because I wasn't willing to invest in the short term.

Your short term might be your physical location right now.

Your job might be moving you somewhere else in the next few months or years.

And you're not wanting to invest.

Or it might be in relationships around you.

That co-worker that's in your office.

Or the young mother that lives on your street.

We sometimes see those people as temporary.

And we chose not to invest.

It's easier.

Not to invest.

But, easier.

As I have learned.

Is not always better.

I'm reminded

That God has short term assignments for me.

Short term opportunities He wants to provide me.

But I have to be willing to invest.

Invest myself.

Where I am.

Right now.

A Clingy, Controlling Life

I SO know what its like.

To be afraid.

To have genuine fear.

Fear of failure.

Fear of letting people down.

Fear of not meeting a goal or falling short.

Fear of disappointment.

Just fill in the blank.

There's no end to what we can fear.

It kept me from sticking my neck out too far for many years.

I kept a tight reign on my life.

And part of that was fear.

But mostly,  it was a desire to control.

It came down to risk in my mind.

And risk made me afraid.

So I stayed clear of it whenever possible.

But, instead of safety.

Comfort.

And security.

The lack of risk made life predictable.

And dull.

And normal, in the least appealing sense of the word.

I learned.

The hard way.

That by never stepping out to take a risk.

By only doing what I thought I could manage on my own.

I denied myself the chance.

To see God demonstrate His power.

In my puny life.

It did take a hard lesson.

But I learned.

If I never put myself in a situation.

Where He had room.

Had the opportunity.

Because I willingly let him.

Do something BIG and incredible in my life.

Then I would always take credit for what I accomplished.

Under my own ability.

Under my own strength.

But.

When I'm willing to say......."the only way this will happen is if You show up!"

Or.

The only explanation is "It had to be God!

Then.......things change.

And life begins to be more of the adventure.

He always wanted for me.

Now.

I'm consistently living and working outside what is comfortable for me.

So consistently, in fact.

That it can be overwhelming.

And many times.

Its all I can do to trust Him with the outcome.

But I'll take this any day.

The risk.

The uneasiness.

The uncertainty.

Over the dull.

The normal.

And the predictable.

Because He's the one I'm counting on.

And He gets all the credit from me when He provides the outcome.

That only He can provide.

What BIG need do you have today?

Are you evaluating your ability to make it happen?

Or.

Are you sticking out your neck a little?

Taking a risk.

Allowing Him to show up.

And get in your business.

And prove Himself trustworthy in your situation.

No amount of a clingy, controlling, normal existence will ever measure up.

Its a lesson I hope to have finally learned.

And once learned.

There really is.

No going back.

10 Signs of "Old House Fixation"

I clearly am.

Obsessed with old houses.

If there was such a thing.

As old house fixation.

I would have it.

Mine would be a text book case.

Terminal.

By anyone's standards.

My symptoms?



1)   I've started to feel sorry for people that decide to buy or build -- new construction.

It absolutely makes no sense.
Whatsoever.
To me.
I can't understand why reasonable people would intentionally choose.
New over old.

2)  I've seriously considered breaking and entering when I spot an abandoned or empty
old property.  

The desire to explore is sometimes more than I can resist.  



3)  I'd pass up shopping at World Market or Pier One.
For a good vintage, antique or consignment shop.
Any day.
Hands down.

Just like old houses.
The old things that go in old houses are way more interesting.
And appealing to me.

4)   I see potential in just about any fixer upper.

When I'm out and about.
My eyes are constantly scanning the horizon.
For old houses.
That need my help!



5)   I've visited the grave sites of the family that built and lived in our 1915 house.
In fact, I see nothing  unusual or creepy about that.
(although my children would strongly disagree.)

Grave of the man who built our house in 1915 Rev. Robert Milton Stevenson
at the Due West Presbyterian Church.

Grave of Milton's wife, Emma.

Photo found behind one of the mantels in our house; subject unknown
- possibly one of the Stevenson children.

It's so interesting to me.
That they lived in my house.
Or more accurately.
That I live in their house.
Milton & Emma & their six children.

They celebrated Christmas' here.
Their hands held the same banister on the stairway.
They laughed in this house.
Enjoyed meals around a table here.
They sat by the same fireplaces.
Walked over the same wood floors.
They lived life under this roof.
And.
I've always felt a bond with them.

6)   I've picked up on interesting old house facts.
For example.
I learned that four spindles to a step is a very unusual staircase.
Our house has four to a step.

And now.
Whenever I go into an old house.
I can't help but count the spindles on each step.
To see if its more or less than four.

7)   I've actually thought through the renovation projects I would take on.
If I won the lottery.

That never used to happen.


8)  I'll take a detour.
In any town I visit.
Just to see the historic district.

I don't covet new cars or expensive clothes.
Give me a Sears & Roebuck House.
Or a Craftsman Bungalow.

And transom windows.
Give me pocket doors.

9)   I've become down right "haughty" when it comes to judging people that cover
old houses with vinyl siding.

It's wrong  - I know.
But I judge you a little if you do it.


10)  The number of fireplaces in a house is more important to me.
Than the size of the closets.

Give me an old fireplace and a mantel.
Any day.
Over a walk in closet!


Old house fixation.
Incurable I'm afraid.
Happily so.

Room to Move

I'm pretty decisive when it comes to making a decision.

Or taking action.

I don't usually over analyze.

Over think.

I generally size up a situation.

And make the best decision I can.

With the best information I have at the moment.



I don't like to dilly dally as a rule.

And I don't like for people around me to either.

(A big surprise for some of you, I know.)

I'm always the one that will say under my breath.....

Get to the point!

Make up your mind!

Cut to the chase.





Not surprisingly.

I'm certain that God has....... many times.

Wished He could harness my mouth.

Or get me to slow down for 5 seconds.

And consider the possibility.

That He might actually have a plan.

Or something in mind.

That He might chose to use me.......if I would just wait.

And maybe ask Him.

And listen.

Or pause.

And give Him room to move.




It may be 5 minutes.

It may be a few days.

It may not be the length of time.

Just choosing to consider Him.

Close my mouth.

"I'll wait to have that conversation when I'm not so tired"

Pause.

"That looks like the best option....but let me sleep on it tonight."

Wait.

"A week could make a big difference in how this turns out."




Yep.

Allow God room to move.

In my situation.

And decisions.

Especially when others are involved.

Or maybe even impacted.

Before I jump ahead.



Pause.

And consider.

And give Him room to move.

A Well Placed Day Off

I did it.

Scheduled the day off.

Just for myself.

In need of some rest.

Down time.

To step away.

Be quiet.

And restore.



Today was the day.

No schedule to keep.

No deadlines to finish.

No calls to make.

No responsibility.

That.......kind of day off.

The weather even cooperated.

There's 100% chance of rain today.

In fact....it's coming down now.

Perfect.

It's only going to encourage what I have in mind, anyway.

Pajamas until noon.

Some ham & collard stew for lunch.

Sworn off of housework.

Or chores.

My cats are my only company today.

This one here is my constant shadow.

I'll work on some glass.

Maybe do some reading.

or writing.

Watch a Merle Streep movie.

Take a nap.

Drink some coffee.

And shift my mind into......a place of rest.



We don't do this very often.

Women, that is.

We rarely do this for ourselves.

I sure don't.

But today......will be different.

Cause it's the perfect time.

For a well placed day off.

The Road Ahead

Using an actual paper map is pretty much.......never done anymore.

Replaced by GPS.

Or Mapquest.

Or something else terribly efficient.

We've raised an entire generation.

(I include myself in that statement.)

That can't navigate to the next town.....without electronic assistance.



I asked my twenty-one year old this week.

Do you think you could find your way to your papa's house without a GPS?

(Never mind that she's been going there since she was nine.

or....... that he lives just an hour & a half away.)

"Of course not" was her reply.

"Why would I?"




In my day.

(okay......here it comes.)

You know.....back in the day.

Back when I had to pull out and unfold a map and discern from reading it...

where to go.

I had to pay attention to highway numbers and road signs.

I used a map to get around in unfamiliar places.



Maybe my use of maps.

Caused this.......to catch my eye.

Artist, Ed Fairburn

" Let Me prepare you for the day
                that stretches out before you.

I know exactly what this day will contain,
                whereas you have only vague ideas about it.

You would like to see a map,
                 showing all the twists and turns 
                 of your journey.

You'd feel more prepared if you could somehow visualize
                  what is on the road ahead.

However,
                  there is a better way to be prepared with whatever you
                  will encounter today;

Spend quality time with Me.

I will not show you what is on the road ahead,
                   but I will thoroughly equip you 
                   for the journey."

                                                                   January 12th   Sarah Young, "Jesus Calling"




I'm in serious need of equipping.

Deep.....serious......need.

I'm in one of those seasons.

When my present circumstances.......are so far beyond

what I could ever navigate on my own.


Maybe your life is neat & tidy and manageable.

All tied up in a bow.

Mine hasn't been like that......since.......

Okay...........mine's never been like that.




But....this thing about equipping....

has really spoken to me.

I need it in the worst way.

That's why I'm up....with very few exceptions.....every single morning.

Making time.

To sit with Him.

And read His word.

And get on my face.

Asking Him to equip me.

With strength.

Courage.

Guts.

Insight.

Grace.

Whatever I need most that morning.



That's really the message of my blog today.

The road I'm on.

And the road ahead.

Is often hard.

Sometimes treacherous.

Many times difficult.

As a woman.

I'm stretched.

Pulled.

Depended on.

Expected.

Just like you.

And there's almost no morning.

Okay.

Correction.

There's never a morning.

I get up and think.

Piece of cake!

I got this!

Somebody else may say that.

Not me.



My chair is right behind me now.

Over there near the door.

In a quiet room I retreat to every day.

My bible is open directly in front of it.

There on the ottoman.

And in that fifteen or twenty minutes in the morning.

I come here.

To get better equipped.

It's worthwhile.

And valuable.

And no amount of hitting the snooze button on my alarm.

Keeps me from coming here.

It prepares me for the road.....today.

And thankfully...... for the road ahead.