Not So Great at Reflecting

I've been listening to a podcast over the last few weeks.

"The Next Right Thing" by Emily P. Freeman.

I give my oldest daughter credit for the suggestion.

(She likes the acknowledgement.)

Emily's voice is soothing and easy to listen to.

And.

I like her outlook on life.

She said in a recent episode.

(I'm paraphrasing.)

"It's important to reflect on the things that happen to you.

And.

It's in that reflection. 

That you have a better chance of making sense of it.

Consider how it impacted you.

Gain some perspective.

And hopefully.

Through that reflection.

We can learn.

 And move forward."

As the title of this blog suggests.

I've done very little reflecting.

Especially in this last year.

Plenty has happened in my life.

Just as I'm sure it has in yours.

I walked through my dad's terminal illness.

And sat with him as he took his last breath.

Other things don't seem as important.

But they were still my experiences.

Downsizing a lifetime of possessions and moving into a new home.

Beginning retirement.

I see the benefit.

Of not just walking through my life experiences and plowing ahead.

But actually taking the time to think them through.

For me, reflection comes easiest by journaling.

Writing down.

Seeing my words on paper.

Taking some time to consider what happened.

Making sense of it.

When that's possible.

More time reflecting.

That's on my list of things to do.

Battle Worn & In My Pajamas

 Okay.

The title may be a tad bit dramatic.

Still.

I found myself yesterday.

Home.

With a scheduled day off.

A bit.

Battle worn.

And in my pajamas.

All 

day.

I mean.

All day.

Sun up to sundown.

Can anyone else relate?

Now,

before anyone gets overly concerned.

I'm thankful I could take the day.

No responsibilities.

Or children to look after.

Just myself.

I probably needed the day.

To be idle.

And still.

Brought on by a season of life.

Not just unique to me.

The loss of a parent.

Moving.

Ending a long career.

All normal, life happenings.

But none the less.

A season of change and challenge.

Thankfully.

I gave myself some grace.

To sit.

Okay.

It was more like vegetate.

While the world passed me by yesterday.

Inside my house.

Eating only cereal and popsicles.

And dark chocolate.

Binge watching "Alias."

and "Fixer Upper."

But.

Sitting.

Resting.

Regrouping.

Journaling.

Praying.

Considering.

The day was likely coming for a while.

And it was what I needed.

Thankful.

That as a new day dawns.

I'll begin to feel stronger.

And find my way forward.

With His help and direction.

I sense there's a new season on the horizon.

And good that will come.

From where I've been.

And my day in my pajamas.

"When you feel flustered and frazzled on the outside,

do not feel upset with yourself.  You are only human,

and the swirl of events going on all around you will 

sometimes feel overwhelming.  Rather than scolding 

yourself for your humanness, remind yourself that I

am both with you and within you.  Slow down your

pace of living for a time.....peace be with you."

"Jesus Calling" Sarah Young

 

A Season of Change

 I've always thrived with change.

Most of my life, anyway.

Change has kept me challenged.

On my toes.

Engaged.

It's brought fresh starts.

New ways of looking at things.

Different perspectives.

That kind of change.

But I'm also learning.

There's different kinds of change.

Change that comes from moving on.

Closing one season or chapter of life.

Because it's the right time.

Or just the right thing to do.

My retirement is coming in about five months.

From a place that's brought me great friendships.

And the work is meaningful.

It's exciting.

And a bit terrifying.

But change is coming.

We've also been preparing for a change with where we live.

The choice to move from a big house.

To a smaller one.

Change that comes from simplifying and downsizing.

Letting go of space.

And what's familiar.

Letting go of things.

And where you've invested yourself.

There's that kind of change.

Change can also come from unplanned loss.

I've been learning about that too.

I lost my dad a few weeks ago.

My brothers and I walked through a short,

but terminal illness with him.

With hardly time to take it in.

The change of losing a parent.

Has shifted everything.

 In an unexpected way.

Ways I'm just beginning to see.

So.

Today.

With all the change around me.

Some brought on by my own devises.

Or timing.

Some not welcomed at all.

I step back.

Take some time off.

To work in my garden.

Talk to my mom.

Write.

Pray.

Get on the floor for yoga.

And stretching.

Maybe take a nap.

Love on my cats.

Slow down the day.

And the pace of things.

To be good to myself.

And take in.

This season of change.

"If He gave us no rough roads to walk, no mountains to climb and no battles to fight, we would not grow. He does not leave us alone with our challenges, however.  Instead he stands beside us, teaches us & strengthens us to face them."

(Read in my study notes from Psalm 18 this morning.)