Last Week

My suitcase is unpacked.

And back in my attic.

My travel size shampoo and lotion.

Are stashed back in my travel drawer.

Souvenirs have been shared.

My passport went back in the file.

And my dirty clothes have been washed.

Even the smell of Kenya.

Has pretty much faded or been washed away.

It's Wednesday.

We've been home.

Just four days.

Isn't it about time?

For that shift?

Back to what life was before?

But.

I'm still thinking about what I was doing this time.....last week.

Last week.

We had our closing ceremony.

Last week.

We ate our meals together at one long table.

Last week.

We got wet from an afternoon shower.

Last week.

We watched fish fingerlings released in a pond.

Last week.

We looked after each other.

We confided and shared.

In a circle.

Of chairs.

Last.

Week.

But now.

It's four days later.

And I gave myself a bit of a break.

I left my office at lunch.

And headed home.

I spent some time.

Cleaning and thinking.

Being quiet.

Considering what's next.

I've struggled more than usual  this time.

Adjusting to what's normal back at home.

My mind.

Has been preoccupied.

In last week.

Remembering.

Evening dinner with all of you.

Falling asleep with a mosquito net over an open window.

Standing on top of a mountain.

Listening to that stupid rooster crowing in the dark.

And the sound of you singing and laughing at the foot of the stairs after debrief.

I miss this team.

I miss being there.

I've prayed a good bit this afternoon.

For God to help me move forward.

And come to some conclusions.

Of putting all of this in it's place.

This is how He explained it to me.

At least in my spirit.

(maybe it will help some of you.)

This trip was a gift.

A gift to you.

A special place.

For you to see.......Me.

I gave you something you needed.

Love.

Relationship.

Beauty.

Time away.

Time with Me.

I gave you a different way to look at your life.

Take  that.

Take what I gave you.

Take what I showed you.

Don't forget it.

Don't waste it.

Put feet to it.....in your life.

Today.

And in the days ahead.

It was a gift.

Not to be mourned for.

Not to hold you in the past.

Don't look back too long.

You won't lose it.

It's not going anywhere.

It'll always be there.

Part of you.

But I'm ahead.

Waiting.

Turn back around.

Walk forward.

It was a gift.

To be used.

And lived out.

For Me.

For.

Me.