A Clingy, Controlling Life

I SO know what its like.

To be afraid.

To have genuine fear.

Fear of failure.

Fear of letting people down.

Fear of not meeting a goal or falling short.

Fear of disappointment.

Just fill in the blank.

There's no end to what we can fear.

It kept me from sticking my neck out too far for many years.

I kept a tight reign on my life.

And part of that was fear.

But mostly,  it was a desire to control.

It came down to risk in my mind.

And risk made me afraid.

So I stayed clear of it whenever possible.

But, instead of safety.

Comfort.

And security.

The lack of risk made life predictable.

And dull.

And normal, in the least appealing sense of the word.

I learned.

The hard way.

That by never stepping out to take a risk.

By only doing what I thought I could manage on my own.

I denied myself the chance.

To see God demonstrate His power.

In my puny life.

It did take a hard lesson.

But I learned.

If I never put myself in a situation.

Where He had room.

Had the opportunity.

Because I willingly let him.

Do something BIG and incredible in my life.

Then I would always take credit for what I accomplished.

Under my own ability.

Under my own strength.

But.

When I'm willing to say......."the only way this will happen is if You show up!"

Or.

The only explanation is "It had to be God!

Then.......things change.

And life begins to be more of the adventure.

He always wanted for me.

Now.

I'm consistently living and working outside what is comfortable for me.

So consistently, in fact.

That it can be overwhelming.

And many times.

Its all I can do to trust Him with the outcome.

But I'll take this any day.

The risk.

The uneasiness.

The uncertainty.

Over the dull.

The normal.

And the predictable.

Because He's the one I'm counting on.

And He gets all the credit from me when He provides the outcome.

That only He can provide.

What BIG need do you have today?

Are you evaluating your ability to make it happen?

Or.

Are you sticking out your neck a little?

Taking a risk.

Allowing Him to show up.

And get in your business.

And prove Himself trustworthy in your situation.

No amount of a clingy, controlling, normal existence will ever measure up.

Its a lesson I hope to have finally learned.

And once learned.

There really is.

No going back.